Helping Friends or Walk Among Your Tribe

As my wife and I have recently celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary, I am reminded that I have been blessed in my life with many wonderful things. My son of thirty five years; his wife; our newest family member, a grandson born in mid- December of last year; many, many close friends; and a ton of professional business associates who remain close, even after decades of trials and tribulations, are the best of these things. My health and vitality continue to allow me to pursue where ever my whims take me. I even seem to have enough intelligence to understand how fortunate I am. Then comes the plethora of material blessings like homes, cars, and clothes and enough monetary security to allow me to live without worry.

A recent event brought home to me how fortunate I have been when a tornado came through St. Simons Island where I have the pleasure of living and struck a home and gardens of some friends. While there was tree damage to the house and porches it was the garden that was virtually totally destroyed. This was the same garden that had been a part of a tour of some of the most beautiful gardens on St. Simons and Sea Island just the week before. Thousands and thousands of dollars of damage was done to the gardens when 40-50 tress were twisted and snapped and then fell to the ground destroying plants, fountains, sidewalks, sprinkler systems, trellises, gates and statuary. Of course, insurance covered much of the damage to the house but only limited damage to the gardens and grounds. Our friends were blessed that no one was hurt and we were blessed that the tornado did not find its way to our home.

As soon as I found out about what had happened I immediately thought about what teaching Geronimo would have for me from The Leadership Teachings of Geronimo. Teaching #52, Walk Among Your Tribe, immediately came to mind even though it was written to apply to leaders of corporations (this is not unusual since many leadership traits are the very same ones you should use in your daily dealing with people). It goes like this.

Geronimo lived with and among his people. He did not separate himself from the warriors, women, and children of his tribe. He hunted with them, ate with them, fought with them, slept with them, celebrated with them, danced with them, sang with them, traveled with them, cried with them, walked with them, rode with them, counseled with them, raided with them, and played with them. His people followed him because they knew him as they knew themselves.

Teaching

It is common for modern executives to separate themselves from those whom they lead. This is a major mistake. If leaders wish for people to consciously and willingly follow them, they must be among them. There is no substitute.

Leaders must be among those they wish to have follow them on a regular, ongoing basis. An occasional visit to the plant, building, or office will not suffice. People must see their leaders regularly in order to know, understand, and identify with them. Otherwise, they are merely a curiosity.

In addition, leaders must be with their followers in a variety of situations. The once-a-year office holiday party is inadequate. Followers must see their leaders in good times and bad, in stressful times and restful times, in business and casual attire, in the mornings and the evenings, and in public and private. Leaders must eat with their followers just as Geronimo did. They must travel with them just as Geronimo did. They must counsel with them just as Geronimo did. They must sing with them just as Geronimo did. They must celebrate with them just as Geronimo did. They must be leaders at all times and in all places, not just in the boardroom.

My friends were certainly in a stressful time. This was a time for friends (and leaders) to be with them. A quick telephone call to see if they were all right was not sufficient. They needed more. So, my wife and I along with two other friends, made it through the downed trees and power lines to check on them after we had first given them a call. It was the day after the tornado but it was obvious they were both still in a minor state of shock. Our friend was standing inside his screened porch when huge trees came twisting down ten feet away from him, landing on the unscreened deck area. No wonder he was in shock. Seeing that we could do nothing until the professional tree removers could move the biggest trees that had fallen on the house, we left after commiserating with our friends, only to return shortly afterwards with a spiral cut cooked ham, deli vegetables, a bottle of wine and other sundry food items. In the South if you can’t do anything else at least you can take food! It eases the burden a little. I continued to check on our friends daily until the insurance adjusters had finished their work a couple of days later. After that first day the Red Cross had showed up with fifteen people to go about removing much of the downed trees. Nonetheless, there was still a LOT to do, so the next day I went down with my gloves and worked by my friend’s side downing, cutting and removing numerous other trees as well as broken chairs, fountains, huge pots, etc.

The ham would probably have been enough to demonstrate to my friends that I understood their plight. This was especially true after the Red Cross came to the rescue. However, Geronimo taught me that to be a true leader (and a true friend) I needed to walk their walk – to be beside them when they needed it and not just when times were good. While I would like to think that our corporate and organizational leaders know this lesson I am reminded every single day that this is simply not the case in many, if not most, of our leaders. These folks are leaders in name only - granted that mantle because of hierarchical position. If they truly want to lead they MUST walk among their tribes.